vrijdag 6 januari 2012

God has taken me many places, but not one compares to that special place. I had lost my way, but I have found it once again. I thank You, most high.


Is there anything too large, too impossible, too challenging for the most High? Isn't He the One who made the waters flow, who made the mountains as high as the sky, who made the trees, grass and flowers. Who made nature so beautiful and liberating. He who made me from head to toes, He who breathed His air into me so I could have life.

Life sometimes doesn't always turn out to be as we have planned. It has many surprises, some good and some bad. It can take us through some difficult places, some painful, some shameful, some beautiful but some unbearable too. It can take everything we have away from us, it can take our happiness in one second. It can give us failure, success, wealth, poverty, health, sickness, love, loneliness and much more. Many times we quite do not understand why we have to have the good with the bad, it seems so unfair.. ''Why is it happening to me?'' We mostly wonder during stressful and hard times. Some tend to blame God during these moments of distress, out of anger, unawareness, or pain. But seem to forget Him in times of joy, or happiness, or just when everything isn't good but not necessarily bad either. These are not just the non-believers, I myself caught myself doing the exact same thing several times, when things just got too much for me.

Life has brought me to so many places I'd rather not been, I'd rather not seen, I'd rather not experienced (yet). It has torn me apart, made me angry, mad, not in peace with myself, content but not happy, but has made me laugh, made me loved by so many people, strong, humble, a fighter, a believer and hopeful aswell. Grew up in a broken household, with a sick mom, no dad, with a much older brother, a family on the other side of the world, felt confused, ugly, fat, not loved, made me search love everywhere but couldn't find the love I needed.

''I don't belong in this world'' were the words that caught my heart every time, ''no one will miss me anyway.'' I was very loved by my mom, brother and family who came here over the years, don't get me wrong. But I just couldn’t feel/accept it, because I felt I needed the love of a whole famil, I thought my dad didn't love me and just wanted him to be there, to take care of mom, and my brother and me.

I wanted out, but God had different plans with my life, He enwrapped me with His majesty, with His caring touch and draw me close to Him. Into His arms of eternal love and let me know I was loved, I díd matter, I was important to Him and showed me that I was important to the people around me. He revealed their love towards me, His love towards me, He made me conscious of my blessings, of my opportunities, that my dreams weren't ridiculous, weren't impossible. That day I saw the Lord, He took me to that place, that secret place where I could be with Him, where peace took over all the fears, brokenness, anger, failures and disappointments of the world.
I just want to say, I know all will be alright it doesn't matter where you stand in life, how much you have messed up, it is never too late for the most High while you are still alive. You are forgiven before you even know you have been forgiven. Life can knock you down, chew you up and spit you out just like that, people can disappoint, love can fail but God never EVER does! He remains constant, like the river flow, He'll remain standing just like the unmovable mountain, He'll bring liberation just like running through a field and laying down in its green fresh grass. We can always have that one moment, that turning point, where all of our mistakes, our disobedience doesn't matter and is forgiven.

And in His presence all I can do is fall down on my knees and cry, because His presence is amazing and even now, I have been wrong, I have run away, turned my back against Him, but I came back, because ''living'' in this world isn't worth living if I have to do it without Him. The void I felt inside is not what He has in store for me.
He founds me special, has plans for my life, has made way for me, will take me to different beautiful places, loves me unconditionally, holds me together. He Who holds the world together, founds me special, founds us all special! You, me, everyone, It doesn't matter what has happened in the past, it doesn't matter what will happen in the future, He was, is and always will be the same forgiving, loving, caring God!

Don't run away now and miss  your blessings, but embrace them as He wants to embrace you, you do matter, you are important!