in my weakness.

there have been times that i felt so weak, i felt like the whole world was on top of me. Like i was strugglin' to get up, but something kept on knocking me down and all of a sudden all the strugglin' seemed so useless. Times where i felt like giving up the fight was my only option, regardless of the concequences. The pain it cost, the tears it brought, it just didnt seem worth it all. The feeling that your heart is beating in your throat of fear, the feeling that ur swimmin under water and you keep on sinking instead of catcing ur breath. The struggle of getting back above water, but the water around you is stronger then ur strain.

Why do we have to face these brief moments of weakness?
2 Colossians 12:18 states;
'not more than my mercy is necessary, because strenght will
become visible in weakness'.
- so i would much rather stand on my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ will become visible in me. Because Christ gives me strength, I create joy in my weakness, in insults distress, persecution and misery, in my weakness I am strong. Jesus' crucifixion fits His weakness and now He lives through the power of God.

This brief moments of weakness, show us the true ability of our powerful God. That we truly are nothing without Him, and in those moments dont be afraid to admit you need Him, and call upon His name. Because in ur moment of weakness, you are strong.

So when i feel like sinking, instead of yelling and panicking and feeling like the world is on top of me, i call upon my Lord and all that what seemed to matter really doesnt any more, and imma rise up joined by my God.

a simple wish

When ure little err thing seems possible, you got ur heart filled with billions of dreams. You look up to the stars and close ur eyes and you squeeze them so tight. You live in your own imaginery world, your own little utopia.

I mean i had dreams once, not sayin i dont still have them but the more u age, the more u loose ur creative hopes and dreams; ur imagination, just like in the peter pan story you stop believing in fairytales. Take me, i just had one wish, seriously one wish, but that simple wish made me loose all hope in near future dreams, cuz mine never came true. And a lot of times i asked God why my wish never came true, i mean mommy always told me; 'pray and the Lord hears and always answers ur prayers'. So i started wondering if God didnt hear my prayer, my once in a life time wish.


Wondering why life happend to be this complicated and hard, why the real world kept hitting me by suprise and why it couldnt be more like a movie; when the hard part comes i just press the forward button. i seriously conciderd making a movie of my life so i could create my own ending, i begg my pardon, my own happily ever after. Life always gives us the unexpected, the labour, the limitations so why are we acting so suprised? Like we can always get the good without the bad? That's why it's called L I F E.

My point being; there are going to be times, in ur life as a believer when ure going to question if God is really on ur side. And the reason why ure questing it is: because of the simple fact it seems like the devil is hitting you with err thing he possibly can. But you need to understand something below, you need to remember that the only reason why ure in that position now is because God has ordered ur steps.

And the only reason why the devil is hitting you like he is hitting you is because he has leisurely peeked into ur future. An he sees what God is about to bring you into. Thats why you cant depend on nothing but the word of God. Am just sayin' people stop wondering and focussing 'bout dem' could've been dreams, and start focussing on Christ our God and He'll make ways for u to live ur own happily ending succes!