Water of life.

Those rainy, cloudy mornings in bed.. How I love them! They make me sleep better and longer, they give me this feeling of cosines and make me want to do exactly nothing at all. Yes it's one of those rainy spring days here in Holland, if you are Dutch you know that rain and spring time perfectly get along, sadly enough rain and summer even. But to enjoy these rainy days by being at home and having nothing planned all afternoon is just delightful. It gives me time to post, read, study and of course have time with God.

My fondness of the rain is very contradictive though. 

I detest the days when I'm walking or cycling outside without my umbrella and water drops start to pour out of heaven like some kind of waterfall. You'll find me saying things like; 'WHY LORD WHY NOW' or 'why you had to ruin my hair though' or 'no?  Hadn't I have a shower already?'  Yes those are the days when I dislike that 4-letter word which have to make me soaking wet, ruin my hair and make me look like a clown because of the non-waterproof mascara I have on. 

But on the other hand I love the way nature smells when it's been nourished by the water, the way the sky is so crystal clear it makes me glad. I love the way the rain stands for washing away all the dirt and mess which polluted the earth. All things are so clear after a rain fall, like everything is made new.

The reason why I love the rain is that, it stands for what God's rain does when it washes us completely. When He rains on us with His unconditional love, mercy, peace and new life; He makes us new. He makes us whiter than snow, brighter than the sky and He does it in a whim. God washes away all the dirt, shame, mess, pain and all other things with His rain and replaces them with a new life filled with beauty, glory, fruits, grace, elegance, hope and love. He comes down when you least expect it and gives you a brand journal to write your life story on, together with Him. He nourishes us daily with His life, Word, refreshments and He takes care of us willingly. He doesn't condemn our downfalls, in the contrary, He picks us up, heals our wounds and lifts our heads. 

''Look God is greater than we can understand. He draws up the water vapor and then distills it into rain. The rain pours down from the clouds and everyone benefits. Who can understand the spreading of the clouds and the thunder that rolls forth from heaven? See how He spreads the lightning around Him and how it lights up the depths of the sea. By these mighty acts He nourishes the people, giving them food in abundance. '' - Job 36:26-31.

He fills this earth with His rain, His nutrition and His splendor. The rain which tends to ruin my hair is the rain which illustrates how He works in our hearts, how He makes us new, bright and crystal clear, how He beautifies us. Also it makes me appreciate the little things, as I said the smell of nature, the moving clouds up in the sky, the rainbow afterwards which reminds me of God's promises, you name it.

And therefore, I will be thankful for His rain, for where would I be if He hadn't rain down on me and gave me life.

X's & O's

Fight for those who matter.

It's quite ironic how someone whom you refered to as ''friend'' can turn out to be someone you used to know. Years can go by, laughters, cries, arguments, encouragements, confessions, bonds, friendships, life time memories even, for it to change and turn into nothing but ''used to be's''. I guess it's part of the circle of life, if I may state it like that. A certain process that never ends, meeting people, making friends, meeting some more people, making new friends, having the old ones still be your friends, but not being part of your daily lives etc.

Like lets say, when we're kids and we go to primary school and at the very first day we make new friends and we proudly introduce them to our parents so they can arrange playing dates for us, it's not as if we can discuss our likes and dislikes and determine from that point on we have the same interests and therefore need to be friends. It's this unspoken connection that just sort of flows and eventually grows on us. Or when we grow older and go to secondary school and some of us are trying to fit in and be part of the cool kids, and the others just want to mind their own business without any trouble. When two oldtime friends each belong to the other ''group'' this is mostly where the fracture begins. But this doesn't only happen during school though, throughout our entire lives, we make friends, meet new people, make some new friends, sometimes we lose in touch with our old friends and so on. We don't always lose in touch with our friends, but sometimes the bond of friendship just isn't strong enough to keep the two together.

It's weird really, because isn't that what friendship is all about though? Having your person be there for you no matter what and vice versa? It's not always about sharing the same interests or having a complete replica of yourself, it's so much more then the gossip you share to keep the conversation going, or the meaningless laughs if not from the heart. It's not always about agreeing with the behaviour of the other and saying the things the other wants to hear, but more about what the other needs to hear, about bringing up the best in each other, supporting each other, having fun, to be able to be yourselves, or discovering yourself even. It's about the memories and bonds you share and those being stronger than the misfortunes that have occured or the passing by of time. It's about fighting for the ones you love and cherish dearly, about giving a piece of yourself without wanting anything in return, about trust and thereby entrusting your heart to someone without being afraid to get hurt. And of utmost importance: it's about devotion, effort, understanding, patience, trust, that unspoken bond you share that nobody else gets, that non-egocentric way of putting someone else first, all of which flow from the love you share.

Yes, true friendship is worth fighting for! And I know I haven't always done that exactly and therefore I am so deeply sorry, but what I also know is that friendship is a two way interaction sorta thing. It's about give and take in an equal way, so when things don't always go as planned, there isn't just one person to blame. This is what I had to find out, after years of mentally punishing myself for not always being the bestest of a friend I could be. And I would like to spare some of ya'll the inner combat, some things happen for a reason, some things are your fault and some things aren't. But beating yourself up about it won't change a thing. Instead fight for the ones you love with every fiber of your being, so in the end you can say you have given your all, no matter what the turn out may being. Don't wait until you're total strangers to realize the importance of the ones you love, fight to keep them in your life. Because in the end, it's true what they say, love conquers all.

X's & O's.